I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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