so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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