Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
