Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
