Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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