Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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