someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
