So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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