Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
