Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
