we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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