Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
