i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
