Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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