i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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