My room smells like vodka and shame
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
