It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
