I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
