So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
