We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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