So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
