no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
