I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
