Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
