It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
