i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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