you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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