suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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