I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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