I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
