Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
