i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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