is your mom at the bar?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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