If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
