So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't want my vagina anymore.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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