I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
