Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
