all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
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hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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