we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
