I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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