The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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