thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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