do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
