stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
