I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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