Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?