I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right