just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving