i think my tv is drunk
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
the liver wants what the liver wants
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.