Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
