Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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