Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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