I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
