Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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