Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
