Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
