Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
