Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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