I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
