Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
