Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
