he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.