Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over

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  (305) 3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over http://tfl.nu/46dm
  Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (2200)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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  (804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh
  Replies (87) Good night (715) Bad night (9681)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

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  (954): you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week http://tfl.nu/vx1e
  Replies (13) Good night (4976) Bad night (820)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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  (678): Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed. http://tfl.nu/4nvh
  Replies (12) Good night (681) Bad night (4543)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

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  (970): you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you. http://tfl.nu/kcuf
  Replies (12) Good night (2490) Bad night (3533)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.

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  (604): I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard. http://tfl.nu/0z3w
  Replies (15) Good night (4590) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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  (828): my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty. http://tfl.nu/rhpp
  Replies (29) Good night (7313) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  RIP Mr Bojangles.

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  (910): In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic. (919): RIP Mr Bojangles. http://tfl.nu/00j7
  Replies (13) Good night (1265) Bad night (2240)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...

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  (949): I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me... http://tfl.nu/0dd7
  Replies (2) Good night (1411) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.

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  (774): I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you. http://tfl.nu/ievp
  Replies (8) Good night (2047) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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  (606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml
  Replies (11) Good night (589) Bad night (4183)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.

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  (208): Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1euv
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.

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  (952): You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans. http://tfl.nu/wpte
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.

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  (520): Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are. http://tfl.nu/sjk3
  Replies (5) Good night (1073) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere

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  (570): I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere http://tfl.nu/2bjh
  Replies (3) Good night (167) Bad night (375)

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