Your mouth is God's brothel.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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