I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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