What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
