I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Houston, we have a blender
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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