it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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