Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
